I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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