just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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