You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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