So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Drunk is a universal language darling
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
