she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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