I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
