the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Randomize
