i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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