thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
