U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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