glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do vagina's smell?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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