can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
