it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
