"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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