moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
