fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
