Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
