He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
