i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
