turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wish there were birth control emojis
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
