what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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