Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
