Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
