Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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