Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Green mimosas i think yes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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