So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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