dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
