she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
