my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And then he peed in my hair
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