I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
