Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
