my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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