So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
