I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
