i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
