Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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