you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
