Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
