Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize