I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
