your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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