no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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