An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
