So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
