so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
