there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
