oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
