So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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