is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
