I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
