I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
